As part of my ‘Taboo’ series I am going to talk about things in life people don’t want to talk about. Suicide is something that has hit many of us, be it a family member or a friend. I had a VERY close family try it a few years back, the person was ok. They came to my house a few days later, we hugged and cried. I jokingly said “Stay away from medicine cabinet” and we laughed. Maybe this is just the Scottish way, I don’t know, I have never left this Island.
I asked the person ‘Why’ The reply was not what I expected. They smiled at me and said “It felt right, I felt ok, I felt comforted by something” And that was hard to take. I expected a disturbed warped mind out of control for life. But no, the person never tried it again, for a time we all worried they would but over time we relaxed about it. When I say this person was close, it’s a person I have known from birth who I look to as Super Human, a person you just wouldn’t think would do this. I have lived through several suicides in my 41 years from family and friends and people I knew through people. And the question we have is ‘Why’ I hope the comment the person above gave me gives others peace of mind if they have lost someone to suicide. It seems to always be the people we NEVER would have thought would do this, that do it. The strongest people, the strongest willed people. Ever noticed this?
So how do we spot it? How do we acknowledge a person is suicidal? For me it is near impossible, people in my past and present who have committed suicide or tried were happy, they seemed fine, people always say this. But then we have people in Hospital to stop them taking their own life. People who just don’t see this World as a viable place to be any more. All I know is the hurt it leaves behind lasts a life time, but we get through it, we learn to understand a person’s state of mind. And we can say “They are at peace now” Many in religion will say “They go to hell” Well I don’t believe this at all, there is no proof hell exists, but there is proof love exists.
Many say ‘It’s the cowards way out’ I don’t know if I agree with that saying. Thinking about it must take the strongest will a human being can summoned up to do this deed. They must be so strong to go through with it. I often wonder when people do it is there regret. Maybe it was a cry for help gone wrong, they didn’t want to die, they wanted to tell the World something, their World
I have never tried to commit suicide but I was close twice and been there more times. This was when everything I had was taken from me due to disability, things just kept going, every day, week, year, even now I have lost a person so close to me, I have known since birth. I have lost that person due to MY DISABILITY, MY ISSUES, MY WAYS. I don’t sit and cry about it, see it takes two people to see there is a problem and two people to understand it needs fixed. Drugs an Alcohol sometimes play a part, this is something we all must understand also. Don’t PRESUME someone you love is ok, ASK!
Suicide is a huge Taboo and I guess it’s best it stays that way. But we all must look closer, we must pay attention more. Teachers in high Schools must help also, they must look. We must look at depressed family and friends and always ask “You ok?” We must also be ready to listen to people. If we stop and ask and that person is allowed to tell a story we may stop that person committing suicide. We all have a part to play in the most taboo subject there is. We must show love, we must care, we must try. But if it happens we can’t live in hurt, the person who left us made the decision, don’t regret for life, we all have reasons to keep living and moving forward. If we allow life to do so it will kick us to the floor and keep us there, so we fight, we stay strong, we at least try and most important WE TALK! Talk to people you KNOW that will listen to you, this is a must
Suicidal thoughts have left me now, I accepted my new reality, it is so sad many can’t. So please, if you look at someone now, tomorrow, whenever and you think “Could they?” Please talk to that person.
Trust me, you can help so please try.
.Via Dominik Bieda
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