All of your presents come from the shop you work at (Picture: Getty)
It’s the time of year all gift shops wait for.
The opportunity to make some serious cash as consumers empty their wallets on anything they can get their hands on.
It’s Christmas, yay.
The internet hasn’t won just yet. Traditional shoppers are still out in their masses, perusing and choosing the gifts that their family and friends will receive on Christmas morning.
Who will be there to help them complete this task? The humble gift shop of course.
Here are 17 things you’ll only understand if you’ve worked in a gift shop over Christmas…
1. The Christmas Eve panic buyer. You don’t want to laugh at this poor twenty something male but he has no idea what he’s doing. It’s 3.30pm and all he has so far is a basket of soaps from The Body Shop and a bottle opener in the shape of Darth Vader. His family are in for a disappointing Christmas… again.
2. On the flip side there is the organised shopper. You remember them because they had a long conversation with you about dinosaur cookie cutters back in September. They glide through the doors in early December without breaking stride, make their purchase and give you a knowing wink on the way out that says ‘and that’s how it’s done’.
3. Everyone is up for going out at Christmas so you do your best to maintain a good social life. However, when you’re six rum and cokes deep late on a Friday night with work at 9am the next day you realise you’ve made a huge mistake.
4. Secret Santa shoppers are everywhere and chances are they don’t know anything about the recipient. They literally have no idea what to buy Janice from accounts. A tea towel with a cat on it is then.
The classic secret Santa gift (Picture: Amazon)
5. You pull out cruddy items that have been at the back of the stock room all year and place them carefully amongst the shiny, new stuff. People will literally buy anything at Christmas.
6. You’re incredibly busy but a sweet old man wants to tell you the story about how he came to buy this particular gift for his granddaughter. It’s a sweet tale but can you tell me it in January please Malcolm as I’m drowning in a sea of carrier bags and receipts.
7. You tell the new stock boy to go and sort out a delivery on the 1st December. You never see him again.
8. People expect you to know everything. And not just about the products in the shop you work in. They’re visibly shocked if you don’t know where to buy the latest Nerf gun for their seven year old nephew. I work in a bookshop, do your own research.
9. The shops are open late every bloody night which can mean only one thing… drunk shoppers. They can be entertaining and they don’t care how much they spend but you turn around for five seconds and they’re slumped against a display of Unicorn Night Lights. Come on, time to go buddy, we’re closing.
10. Your family know to expect all their gifts to come from the shop you work at. It’d be rude not to take advantage of staff discount.
11. Christmas music. On repeat. I don’t wish it could be Christmas everyday, everybody is not having fun and it’s not the most wonderful time of the year. Help me.
12. It’s busy. Things sell out. Excuse me, you had this yesterday, where’s it gone? Sold out mate. But, but… buy it when you see it you berk. Christmas takes no prisoners.
13. The shop is heaving, you’re rushed off your feet and some butter fingered shopper drops their overpriced seasonal latte right in the middle of the Christmas cards. You clean it whilst giving them the biggest stink eye.
14. The intensity will become too much for one staff member. They’re still smiling but they’ve lost the plot. They have suddenly forgotten how to take a simple credit card payment and are trying to squeeze a One Direction mug into a tiny paper bag. Take five Dan, take five.
15. Customers become so desperate they make gifts up and just pray they exist. ‘My friend is really into trains and computers, do you have any laptop chargers in the shape of The Flying Scotsman?’ No. Nobody does. No no no.
16. Shutting the doors at 5pm on Christmas Eve is the most amazing feeling ever.
17. Remembering that the sales start on Boxing day quickly takes the shine off it. All those organised shoppers are going to be back as the gates to refund city officially open. Give me strength.
Merry Christmas! Enjoy your one day off…