Before you can become the master of your mind, you must recognize that you are currently at the mercy of several unwanted “squatters” living in your mind, and they are in charge of your thoughts. If you want to be the boss of them, you must know who they are and what their motivation is, and then you can take charge and evict them.
Here are four of the “squatters” in your head that create the most unhealthy and unproductive thoughts:
1. The Inner Critic This is your constant abuser. He is often a conglomeration of:
Other people’s words; many times your parents. Thoughts you have created based on your own or other peoples expectations. Comparing yourself to other people, including those in the media. The things you told yourself as a result of painful experiences such as betrayal and rejection. Your interpretation creates your self-doubt and self-blame, which are most likely undeserved in cases of rejection and betrayal. He is motivated by pain, low self-esteem, lack of self-acceptance and lack of self-love.
Why else would he abuse you? And since “he” is actually you– why else would you abuse yourself? Why would you let anyone treat you this badly?
2. The Worrier This person lives in the future; in the world of “what ifs.”
He is motivated by fear which is often irrational and with no basis for it.
Occasionally, he is motivated by fear that what happened in the past will happen again.
3. The Reactor or Trouble-Maker He is the one that triggers anger, frustration and pain. These triggers stem from unhealed wounds of the past. Any experience that is even closely related to a past wound will set him off.
He can be set off by words or feelings. He can even be set off by sounds and smells.
He has no real motivation; he has poor impulse control and is run by past programming that no longer serves you, if it ever did.
4. The Sleep Depriver This can be a combination of any number of different squatters including the inner planner, the rehasher, and the ruminator, along with the inner critic and the worrier.
His motivation can be:
As a reaction to silence, which he fights against Taking care of the business you neglected during the day Self-doubt, low self-esteem, insecurity and generalized anxiety As listed above for the inner critic and worrier