The Human Mind, Feelings, Emotions and Chronic Pain ‘If you have that’


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Dalai Lama

 

Picture1By @ShaunyGibson – Used to be @ ShaunyNews

When you sit and try to define your purpose on this Earth when you ask who and what you are, we all do this. The irony is many will dismiss that they do this, so go look at that image above again, see it? When you are in a state of TOTAL feeling, at one with yourself and life and the universe, you care. When you care you hurt more, it comes with the packaging. I see so many people afraid to ‘Feel’ because they refuse to take on the burden that comes with it, that would be hurt or loss, whatever, you know? People refusing to go the full way and be true to themselves in fear they might get too close to something. I am not afraid of dying, I am afraid of dying now and leaving my partner too 8ea41f8ff202634e3ff7445fd86ae973 (1)soon. To get to that way of thinking an ‘Event’ must happen. For me the event happened in childhood and guides me now as an adult, in reality it is amazing, many call it God, I just call it amazing, superb, a blessing, lucky and other such words. When I say this to a friend who knows I live in utter agony they say “How can this be, you are Disabled and in pain” To get something we must first lose something. It can be the death of a person, the death of a habit, to forget someone or something, whatever it is, you need to lose before you feel what many like me do and see our World for what it really is, it’s a total hell hole in every sense of the word, but we do as individuals show and see act’s of love and kindness from others, but to gain we lose first, we must lose to get, for me it’s THAT SIMPLE, I was lost for a long time, it was lonely and hard, but all the time my partner and 2 sons were there, now here I am, smiling, happier than I have ever been, why? Because I lose BADLY. So not much else to lose here, so I love what I have and understand that, the pain will do what it will, so I choose life

Song made from the an Irvine Welsh book, then the movie Trainspotting  For those outside the UK who don’t know this Movie 
Part 1 – The beginning

Part 2 – The end…. Both filmed in my City, Edinburgh, Scotland

We all deny our own existence, many of us are wide awake and watching, listening and learning, I am one of these guys. I had a friends, 17 years a friend may I add, she is from Columbus120380-118513 Ohio in the US of A. She said “Shaun has changed” She wasn’t being nasty or rude, far from it. But I felt in an instant ‘Friends don’t do this’ What this is, is she stopped being my friend. When I got my (YES, YES I AM TALKING ABOUT MYSELF, THIS IS MY PAGE, I WRITE THIS IS OFTEN WHAT I DO, NOT ALWAYS) 😀 Sorry I had to get that out the way. Anyway, when I got my Disability, Chronic Pain Syndrome, it then upgraded to the 22827c360539999fff306fa99d5f1775‘Devils Disease’ Fibromyalgia it took things from me, abilities to do things, loss of many things I would before do, friends, family, respect, love, it gives sufferers the attributes and feelings of Motor Neuron Disease and Parkinson’s Disease I could go on. But I am a great believer in Karma. As I sit here now I would say 80% of my immediate family don’t think I am disabled, the 20% would be my Partner, two sons and closest friends. Not one family member is ‘cool’ with Fibromyalgia at all, they say like my friend in the USA did “Shaun has changed” And it gets boring and you do smile after a while, but you learn to surround yourself with people who don’t talk about it and you just have fun with, my partner, sons, close friends and a few on-line also. It is ‘Normal’ I have friends from School, these guys are all super cool, they mock my disability, so it’s all good, I wouldn’t have it any other way. To one mate I am ‘limpy’ for example 😀 This is how I want my disability to be, sadly around certain people it is near impossible because THEY have the problem you see?

Starter pack for the judgemental or is it just 'mental' :D

Starter pack for the judgemental or is it just ‘mental’ 😀

1dd6d21b566548f6552659025a6749baSome of my friends are people I done football with, coaches, players, players families, kids families, for 15 years till I had to stop 5 years ago now, some from school, guys I knew inside out, guys I held hands with at funerals of their parents, friends who are in-fact blood, people who you treat as blood, like Family. These people I know and they know me. When the Disability hit most were all “Oh Shaun I am sorry” I was like “Don’t you dare, no sympathy’ and it was never mentioned again. They all get it now 100%. I can’t make plans with a good mate who is a chef for example, we are REAL good mates, very close, as close as a brother should be. When I cancel they are all cool. With Family no understanding at all. I am sorry I have to say this, the person who said it will read this. I was told over the phone by a family member “You are always in bed” and “You never go out” At first I was angry but them my anger turned to “They are the ones in pain, not me” So again glance at the image above quickly and read it again

See, when you lose things, and they keep going, doesn’t stop, it becomes your ‘Reality’ and you understand and respect this is the way it is. Once you get to that way of thinking you can moveimgres-5_med on, you begin to smile again and be at peace with yourself and as I say, surround yourself with people who enjoy life, people who laugh every day, people like me who demand we have fun. So I go back to what that person told me, I said above “They are the ones in pain, not me” is when I figured out the nasty hurtful words and other issues. I am 41 and I love to learn, I need to learn, I have an open mind on ALL subjects and I believe this is healthy and needed, both apply. So when I understood the other person, the person who couldn’t get why “I am always in the house” or “I am always in bed” (Neither of which are true, not that I care, I don’t judge others) I understood that they were the ones, sadly, with the problems. See I learnt not so long ago, people who attack others with words, words the target won’t hear, mock or joke about a person in their absence, they are the ones with deep rooted problems

220px-Two_Dimensions_of_Emotion.gifThe people I surround myself with are just amazing people, Partner, kids, mates, whoever but others I can’t figure out, so I stopped. I realized they were figuring me out, or trying to figure me out so I gave in, if a person can’t figure a person out or doesn’t get a certain person I say sever the ties, walk away, stop trying to 2nd guess when you ARE wrong about people. Why spend time and brain power and time trying to figure a person out? 😀 How sad is that? I leave a smile because I have only very recently figured this out. I take the smile back and feel sad for these people. Not many, really, a handful. My parter will say “I don’t and can’t feel your pain or understand your mind especially on medication, BUT I AM HERE AND I LOVE YOU” that is all I needed to hear from the woman I love. She judges nobody, in our 25 years knowing each other as kids, primary school kids to now as adults late 30’s and 40 ish I have never once heard her say 1 (ONE) bad word about another. So ‘Surround yourself with the right people’ comes into play, I am around a goddess in every sense of the word, make no mistake I am the luckiest lad this side of Mars for managing to convince my partner to spend the rest of her life with me, so for that, I am blessed, happy, relieved! and in love. When all is said and done, this blog was fun, it made me smile because I demand I smile, to be the opposite is to not live, so easy choice right? Well not really, I know people who have killed themselves who have what I have, I know people talking about, people who have tried to take their life, people who were laughing one day and dead the next, some hide away from the world, I guess I hide away from MY world, the world I was born into, but I keep hold of the world I created for myself, anyone is welcome in, just knock the door, I will put the kettle on 😀 My partner loves me medicated or not, people actually judge me for being on Dr’s prescribed medication and to top it off most of the people who judge take illegal drugs and get drunk and fight and cause trouble where ‘Sociably Acceptable’ alcohol is allowed to roam free and destroy people, can you feel the Irony? I do, it hurts, wait! I hurt anyway!

This ring true for anyone?

This ring true for anyone?

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People die, many are worse, but this is bad, real bad, it makes loved ones not talk. Agreed loved one? I have changed, this changed me, try and be nice aye?

So look one final time at the image above. Makes sense now right? I have defined a meaning to it’s fullest, words from the Dalai Lama, and that’s hard to do right? Some of us can ‘Feel everything so deeply’ We are the ones who hurt the most, who take bad news the worst, we are the ones when say? one of our kids move out takes it hardest. It comes with the territory. To be at total one with yourself, to understand you in any shape, form, health whatever is hard to do. But once you can see it clearly it opens up amazing things in your mind. The pain sucks for sure, the medication sadly is enjoyable as it takes the pain away. I am ready for almost anything, I can take almost anything and I can understand almost everything and I now understand other people, I see them clearly now, lost, pretending to be what they are not, not on purpose, it’s just their ways and I respect others ways. I guess what I am saying is, I respect YOU for what you are, even if I have no time for you or I don’t like you, whatever, I respect you. Respect me back please. So this is for all my friends I lost, who are lost, this is for the people like me who are defined by the images I added. I never ask for sympathy, I would however like certain family members to just walk into my home and say “How you doing today you fragile fool” 1st of January and look what I did, I will leave you with the image of how 2014 ended and how 2015 started, and I wouldn’t have it ANY other way, these are battle wounds, I look at all my bumps and bruises as that, my prize for daring to live for daring to laugh and have fun in life. My new years resolution is to sort my sleeping pattern out, I will try but I am not holding my breath,  for long anyway…. Happy New Year 😉

 I Dropped the hoover on my ankle/shin and ripped some skin and 'I think' tore some ligaments. No break.. But agony and bruised like a break

I Dropped the hoover on my ankle/shin and ripped some skin and ‘I think’ tore some ligaments. No break.. But agony and bruised like a break

Now go have one last glance at that image at the very top and see if you understand it now 😉

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Taboo Series: Disability, being alone and this ‘Spirit of Christmas’ issue


 

christmas-tis-the-season-jolly-facebook-timeline-coverBy @ShaunyGibson – Used to be @ ShaunyNews

I know, I know, It’s Christmas and I probably should be on my sofa chilled out with a beer after Christmas dinner. Well sadly I can’t because of pain and all that amazing Jazz plus I don’t drink. What I suffer from is Fibromyalgia and ‘Fibro’ doesn’t know Christmas day from Pancake day it just keeps giving pain that is unbearable, the effects of Parkinson Disease and also Motor Neuron Disease and other really harsh disabilities like MS and ME and more. So for me I loved the day, loved to see my kids open presents and be with my Son, his partner and my Partner with my oldest son coming late with his partner

Fibromyalgia makes this time of the year almost impossible for people with made up invisible not hurting disabilities, disabilities that people in your life know more about than your Dr, I say that as it’s what society tells us, I find it strange that you often have to be in a wheelchair before someone will understand why you can’t visit them, I know people are dying, I know people who have died and people who have lost so this is where my own personal guilt comes into play, but as I am told by almost everyone, don’t think this way. Here are our symptoms: http://www.fmnetnews.com/fibro-basics/symptoms

Pain All Over – People describe fibromyalgia pain as deep muscular aching, throbbing, shooting, stabbing, or intense burning. Muscle groups used the most may hurt more. In addition, the severity of regional pains can make your fibromyalgia symptoms worse. The pain is unimaginable if you don’t suffer Fibro. This is the part that many can’t live with and we see suicide happen. The pain is very hard to describe, the best I can do is ‘All over toothache’ others have other ways of explaining the pain, for me all over toothache pain is what I feel. I feel like I have JUST broken several bones or snapped muscles, but it is only all day every day 😀 so it’s cool really. Many stay depressed and suicidal, I have been there and back, lost friends and family over it, all this  b@stard illness does is take from us all. 3% of the World’s 7 Billion populous suffer from Fibro. In the UK we grade it 1 to 10. Many are 2/3 just having pain in one area, I was 10 and left the pain clinic as it was pointless but I still help the pain team with sitting and speaking to Dr’s and Pain experts from all over the World at the Ashley Ainsley Hospital in Edinburgh, it has a few large halls that sit a few hundred or more. So although I suffer I spend more time helping others. It’s the old adage “To help others is to help yourself”

Fatigue – Exhaustion can be one of the most incapacitating fibromyalgia symptoms. You may feel as though your arms and legs are weighted down by concrete blocks and your body may be so drained of energy that every task requires great effort. I can be wide awake then *PING* Sleeping or sleepy. Heavy dry eyes, can happen an hour or 2 after a good sleep or at night. So too much sleep and not enough sleep. A pain it is, waking early and sleeping early is all our goals but if we are in agony and it’s 3am we have to just deal with it. For me this is the most annoying probably. I think if I fix this (Like now) for good I will live better. But I am at the mercy of Fibro

Sleep Difficulties – It’s not just about falling asleep. Repeat arousals prevent you from reaching deep, restorative sleep, so you wake up feeling as though you have been hit by a Mack truck. An overnight sleep study may show symptoms of repeat arousals, but a specific sleep disorder may not be found. For the past 5 nights I have been asleep early and up early, BRILLIANT!!! Before and I am sure it will come back I am up a day, down a day, I am missing half my life sleeping. That hurts when you miss family as I do. This is the single most difficult one that none of our families can understand and all we really try to get them to get.

Brain Fog – Trouble concentrating, retaining new information, and word-finding are common fibromyalgia symptoms that seriously interfere with daily functioning. You may be easily distracted and this symptom appears to correspond to the severity of pain (as though the brain is consumed by the pain, limiting your ability to perform cognitive tasks). This is the Parkinson Disease area of the disease. I can be talking and half way through talking *GONE* 😀 What I was talking about just vanishes, with friends/family it’s ok as they remind me, with strangers it’s embarrassing and I don’t like that bit. I tend to just not talk much now to strangers unless it’s email or type chat. Just makes it easier. This is the one thing (Pain aside) we all hate, I have to leave notes on my PC/Laptop/Phone etc for things like “Go to the toilet” or “Take Medication”

Morning Stiffness (Now Now 😀) – You may wake up to enhanced muscle soreness with fibromyalgia, but you probably also feel more stiff than usual. The cause of these muscle symptoms is unknown, but warm water and gentle stretching usually help alleviate them. I can’t move much for an hour after awakening. Often I need a cup of tea and medication before I can go about my day. Sometimes I just have to get up and walk like I am made of cardboard in agony. Also amazing fun, lol

Muscle Knots, Cramping, Weakness – No matter how much you try to relax your muscles, they may feel tense. Many contain rope-like knots called my ofascial trigger points, making you more susceptible to muscle cramping and weakness.The pain of fibromyalgia may also be a source of muscle weakness. These are very similar to Motor Neuron Disease, I get this 24/7, my hamstrings, calf muscles are worse but anywhere we have muscles/tendons etc sufferer friends and I get pain a if there has been a partial tear in any given area, go to the hospital, get a scan, all good. Very hard to diagnose us, but they hooked me up to electrical nodes and made pain happen by pulling and pushing my muscles all over, it showed increased pain activity so proving the pain was there

Digestive Disorders – Constipation, diarrhoea, abdominal pain, gas and bloating, irritable bowel, and nausea are found in roughly 40 to 70% of fibromyalgia patients. Acid reflux and a slowed digestion are also common. If you take strong pain killers it’s important to take anti-acid tablets or you will ruin your insides badly.

Headaches/Migraines – Recurrent tension headaches or migraines are present in 50 to 70% of fibromyalgia patients. Headache symptoms are usually rated as severe, occur at least two times per week, and often have a migraine component. This head pain is partly due to trigger points in the shoulder, neck, and head muscles. I get thumping headaches daily and medication does very little, laying down in bed can be the only treatment

Balance Problems – Balance confidence is greatly reduced in people with fibromyalgia. Walking patterns are altered and the odds of falling are increased. I have feel a few times now, once I slipped and knocked myself out in the hall, woke up in Dunfermline Hospital, great fun! lol

Itchy/Burning Skin – Your skin may look normal or it may have itchy red bumps similar to hives. Burning pain, similar to a bad sunburn, is also common in fibromyalgia patients. I personally get ‘Burnt Skin Syndrome’ where it feels like you are in an oven

Other Strange Symptoms? – Do bright lights, sounds, or odours bother you? These symptoms could be part of your fibromyalgia. Learn more by reading our article, “Is Sensory Overload Part of Your Fibromyalgia?”

The reason I mention all this is because it seems the only time of the year any of us with Fibromyalgia or any kind of Chronic illness get approval from family is Christmas 😀 I don’t understand this. But overall we see people being nice to each other at Christmas. My oldest son was in the drive through at McDonalds yesterday and paid for the people in the car behind, about £5 or so but that is the ‘Spirit of Christmas’ When he told me I was so proud of him, that is EXACTLY what I brought Dean and Ryan up to be, decent young men, men who will notice others around them and know love and kindness

Now I don’t speak for myself I have a few Facebook groups I run and this one here for people with Chronic illnesses allows people to get help and it helps me. Knowing we are not alone helps greatly, I guess in any situation? https://www.facebook.com/groups/699321140156812/ I notice every Christmas people are smiling, opening doors for you, letting you drive out of a road or wherever. The spirit of Christmas is true there is no argument because come January everyone turns miserable again. During the festive period everyone is a saint but 2 weeks later we all go back to the grind and hatred starts again. I have always asked myself why can’t we all act like this all year? I know many through support groups in real life and online who find it impossible to be happy, some people are just sad and it’s an illness. It’s like a heroin addict, we jail them, why not help them? This is what I am getting at. We as a species have times when we help and show love and times where we all turn miserable, me included but to be fair I do try to laugh my way through life, we are here once so smile and live for God’s sake 😀

Anyway, hope you all had a brilliant Christmas and all my friends in the USA are having a good day. It is past 7pm here in Scotland now so nearly over. For West coast USA it’s just starting, in Australia it’s already boxing day at that side of the World. I will sit and smoke a cannabis joint tonight as it is the ONLY thing that takes my pain away for any amount to of time. And as this is ‘Taboo’ series why is it people can get blind drunk, hit others, spread STD’s, cause havoc in city centre’s all over the World, lead to partners fighting, society allows this, society says ‘This is ok’ Yet if a person say? Family see me type “I will smoke a cannabis joint” I will probably be judged. This is how backwards our World can be. Our World is truly one big ironic pantomime for sure

Here, a song that I hate and a statement from a movie 😀

Wham! – Last Christmas
Via MASmusik100 on You Tube

Keep the Change You Filthy Animal
Via r2k3982 on You Tube

Shaun

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Celtic FC: http://thecelticnetwork.com/
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Killing Me Softly : Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Deaths


I have always loved this saying

I have always loved this saying

By @ShaunyGibson – Used to be @ ShaunyNews Via: Lisa Lorden Myers

Earlier today I did this blog https://acenewsdesk.wordpress.com/2014/12/12/taboo-series-suicide/ and I posted it on my Fibromyalgia and any Chronic issue Facebook page for us all to discuss Chronic Illness, things that don’t kill you, they kill your spirit if you let it. I seen this here and I MUST share this page with YOU who have chronic pain or Fibromyalgia or any or any other “Can’t kill you” chronic Condition here> http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/killing-me-softly-fmcfs-suicide Links and as much info on the “Devils Disease” as I could throw together. Not till I started my Group on Facebook for Chronic Pain/Fibro/Depression, anything Chronic, did I understand the level of suffering in others…

…..I AM NOT ALONE, AS I AM MADE TO FEEL BY FAMILY AND FRIENDS. But hey, that is no happy feeling. Reassuring maybe? Our biggest challenge as sufferers is almost impossible to the point we just say ‘Feck it’ and give up. I don’t want to give up on family/friends who don’t like ‘New Shaun’ because to me they are ‘New Them’ it is totally a 2 way street. I notice people look at me as if I am screwing the Government for money, facts are I receive not ONE PENNY from the Government. The only message I want to get through to my loved ones is “This is why I am in bed, this is why I am in a lot, this is why I don’t visit” and once we get past that we can all smile, love, have fun and move the FECK ON! I speak for many (And I tagged a few in here when posting) when I say this, all we want is UNDERSTANDING. Then we can all move on, simple really. But we see things that may not be there, we feel things that may not be there. But to define this is to define Fibro. Fibro is new, not many people know about it, not many who live in pain know they have it. STRESS = PAIN as well as other things with Fibro/CPS, I know in America for example you guys pay for EVERYTHING and that is wrong. Here in Scotland EVERYTHING Health related is free. Now Scotland has greater powers it will only get better. Seeing your Dr is Free, All your Medication is free, Hospital visits be them arranged or not are free, X-Rays and ALL operations are free. I could not survive in a country anywhere where the stress of not knowing all of the above was covered so it must be murder for you guys. My heart goes out to you all 

In Scotland  they grade you 1 to 10…You get asked 100 questions in a book you take home, each question is 1 – good or 10 – DEAD (I am joking, 10 is the worst) I am 10, do you know your score? Try it below

PLEASE SHARE YOUR RESULTS IN THE BLOG AND ON MY PAGE ALSO, IT HELPS US ALL!! http://www.anapsid.org/cnd/diagnosis/berne.html

Via Hunter Medicare Local on You Tube – Official Scottish Video from our NHS (National Health Service)
PLEASE GIVE THIS A WATCH PEEPS..IT ‘WILL’ HELP. Ask your partner, parents, family, friends etc to watch also.
Understanding Pain: What to do about it in less than five minutes?

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Knowing the signs are crucial, if we can save one life this article and you reading it was worth it

 

Fibromyalgia-its-symptoms-and-causes

photo_libraryBy Lisa Lorden Myers


Note: Lisa Lorden Myers, a CFS/fibromyalgia patient from California, is a well-known writer. For three years, she was the Guide to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia at About.com. This article was originally published in Fibromyalgia Frontiers, the journal of the National Fibromyalgia Partnership. Lisa now runs the website
Living with CFS & Fibromyalgia.

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WE ALL HAVE THESE DAYS

On August 15, 1996, Dr. Jack Kevorkian reportedly assisted in the suicide of Judith Curren, 42, of Pembroke, Massachusetts. She suffered from chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) and fibromyalgia (FM). Jan Murphy, another FM sufferer, also turned to Kevorkian for help; ABCNews.com later reported her assisted suicide in the summer of 1997. A recently publicized investigation in the UK revealed that just last year, Julia Revill, age 58, hanged herself outside her family home after becoming frustrated at a lack of medical help for her Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME). ME is the name used abroad for chronic fatigue syndrome. She had shown some improvement after treatment at the UK’s only ME hospital in Essex but had been refused funding by the local health authority for further treatment there, and her condition deteriorated. The loss of “one of our own” always hits hard. These and other reports sent shock waves through the FM/CFS community. Patients with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome have an exquisite understanding of the pain, both physical pain and emotional anguish, associated with having a poorly understood, incurable disease. “When you start hearing there is no hope, no treatment, and no cure over and over, you lose your will to fight,” wrote Jan Murphy in a eulogy read at her funeral. “What most people saw of me was a shell of what was going on inside.” The FM/CFS community is certainly not alone in addressing the problem of suicide. Each year, about 30,000 people in the United States take their own lives. It is the 11th leading cause of death in our country and accounts for about 1.5% of all deaths in the US.

Suicide and FM/CFS

It is unclear whether there is an increased risk of suicide among FM/CFS patients, as compared to the general population. In 2006, Leonard Jason and colleagues published a study analyzing a memorial list maintained by the National CFIDS Foundation. They reported that suicide was one of the three leading causes of death in the sample, along with heart disease and cancer. The researchers noted several limitations to the study, including uncertainty about whether the list was representative of people with CFS and concluded “clearly, it is not possible to generalize the data from this memorial list to the overall population of patients with CFS.”

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The truth I just know hurts us all, Family who get angry with us…

However, there is evidence that chronic pain and illness put patients at risk for suicide. An illness like fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, which is often doubted or neglected by the medical community, the public, and sometimes family and friends, can present unique problems. Patients with FM/CFS can become victims of isolation and despair. Secondary depression is a well-known symptom of FM/CFS and is common with any type of chronic pain. Sufferers depend on a variety of sources of support, including pain management, psychological support, and financial support. When one of these essential needs remains unmet over a long period of time, it is possible for patients to begin to believe that their situation is hopeless. In fact, a recent report published by Action for ME, a UK non-profit organization, revealed that 51% of survey respondents have felt suicidal as a result of their illness. Those with the most severe cases of the illness and who received delayed diagnosis and management were most likely to have considered suicide.

Responding to Suicidal Thoughts

How we feel..

How we feel..

Martha Ainsworth, founder and director of Metanoia, a non-profit organization dedicated to suicide prevention, describes the problem of suicide succinctly. She writes, “Suicide happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide, and individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain. According to Ainsworth, you can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible. It is important to realize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The Journal of the American Medical Association has reported that 95% of all suicides occur at the peak of a depressive episode. For many people who feel suicidal, there seems to be no other way out. But suicidal thoughts are typically a reflection of distorted thinking caused by severe depression or even by the neurological changes associated with FM/CFS itself. When we are depressed, we tend to see things through the very narrow perspective of the present moment. A week or a month later, things may look completely different.

Warning Signs of Suicide

  • Talking or joking about suicide or statements about being reunited with a deceased loved one

  • Making statements about hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness (“Life is useless” or “Everyone would be better off without me.”)

  • Preoccupation with death (recurrent death themes in music, literature, or drawings)

  • Appearing suddenly happier or calmer

  • Loss of interest in things one cares about

  • Unusual visiting or calling people one cares about (saying good-byes)

  • Giving possessions away, making arrangements, or settling one’s affairs

  • Self-destructive or risk-taking behavior (alcohol/drug abuse, reckless driving, self-injury or mutilation)

download

WE ‘ALL’ GET THIS…

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LOL..So true

Most people who once thought about killing themselves are now glad to be alive. They say they didn’t want to end their lives – they just wanted to stop the pain. According to Dr. William Collinge, Ph.D., author of several books including Recovering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, “If you can remind yourself that the suicidal thoughts or feelings are transitory and symptomatic of the illness, this will help you get through those times when you are in the bottom of the pits and can’t see any way out. Also, talking about your feelings with a confidant or loved one can help immeasurably.”Experts agree that talking about suicidal feelings is one of the most important things you can do. Talking to a caring and supportive friend or family member can be helpful, and there are a variety of helplines and support groups to whom people who are feeling suicidal can reach out. Severe depression, the primary cause of suicide, is highly treatable. If depression is recognized and treated, many suicides can be prevented. Anyone who has suffered with fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome knows that it requires a huge adjustment, not only to the illness itself but to all the consequences it has on our lives. Chronic illness is likely to affect the way sufferers live, the way they see themselves, and how they relate to others. With the present state of world events, many people are feeling additional tension, anxiety, or sadness. But suffering with severe depression may be unnecessary. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, it’s essential that you know you don’t have to go it alone. Suicide is preventable, and there are a variety of resources that can provide the support you need.

FAMILY/FRINDS/FIBRO/CPS – http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/topic/Family+%2526+Friends

http://scopeblog.stanford.edu/2013/08/13/fibromyalgia-living-with-a-controversial-chronic-disease/

http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/topic/Treatment+Options

http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/killing-me-softly-fmcfs-suicide

http://www.patient.co.uk/forums/discuss/do-i-have-fibromyalgia-syndrome-257094

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Celtic FC: http://thecelticnetwork.com/
~~

 

When we place ourselves in a private bubble, we turn to love


Some place themselves in a private space

Some place themselves in a private space

 By @ShaunyGibson – Used to be @ ShaunyNews

Ths is an old blog I needed to share with a friend. It is from March 5th 2012, odd how I was thinking in that moment looking back
http://shaunynews.com/2013/03/05/when-we-place-ourself-in-a-private-bubble-from-life/

When it became clear to me all these years ago I had Chronic Pain and other stuff wrong with me, I did not think it would impact my life the way it has. When I was told, I was still working and still active as a football coach and manager (Soccer for anyone in the USA)

Then the pain came, and the pride took a mauling. I wasn’t the same me, I had become someone I didn’t like, I had to learn to like myself all over again, and it was the hardest thing I have done, and to some extent, still doing

I speak to many people in pain, and just by listening I am helping them, and sometimes when you really listen you can tell that the person’s life is not what it once was. There is the argument, and this, again, is where my guilt comes from, when I realise somewhere, people are worse than me, people are dying, and live in a worse place than I do. But I have to remind myself this is my life, my story I am writing about, and I do it to help both other people and myself

I am blessed with my home, my kids, my partner, and my close family who I miss terribly. I say miss terribly, because when the pain came I placed myself in an imaginary bubble, where I was safe. And this is common for people to do. I stopped visiting people and made up excuses when people wanted to visit me. This is normal behaviour, and I cry a lot knowing I want to be with loved ones more. I am missing life due to the pain, and the bubble I am in, so I must fight! I must, in my late 30’s break away from it before I am stuck for good, but I am sure too many people care for me and love me for them to allow me to do this

Somewhere in my subconscious I know I had or have to change this. I harbour ideas of getting back into Football management, and then my head drops as I know it will hurt. So I have a decision to make, do I stay in this bubble in pain, or do I get back out there and face the word, and be in a bit more pain. The answer is very easy, but doing it is not. I have tried so many times to break the bubble, close the door on the bubble, only to step back inside when my pride got dented for whatever reason.

When I see people I have not seen for say 10 years, they think I am the same Shaun, and I am, but they don’t know the pain, they don’t know how the pain hurts just me, but the people around me. My family love me and I am blessed in knowing this, just typing it brought a smile to my face. Long story, something happened today, with a family member that made me smile

So we all have a bubble, some stay in it for a short time, some longer, some never escape it.  I know many people who suffer depression do this, they have another word for it, they just “Hide away from the world” I call it “In my bubble” So when I speak to people who do likewise, we help each other.

A girl I know just helped me, a small act of individual kindness from a woman I love. What she just did made my day and put a smile on my face and I can’t thank her enough. So even today, both the girl I am speaking about and I learnt something. And that is what living is, learning to cope, and learning what is happening when you step out of the bubble, or allow someone into your bubble. The people in my house get in my bubble, not many others do. A girl I know just entered it

For anyone living in a bubble, or hiding from the world, know it does not have to be this way, you can show your face, you can go out, you are brave enough and you can do it. Why do I know this? I know this because every time I blog, or share, I open my private bubble to the planet. So anyone who does a blog and hides from the world, you are not alone to the world, you are asking strangers to enter your world.

I hope people understand what I am talking about here, for me it is very personal

More Love, less hate

Shaun

I dedicate this to a young woman I love more than she knows 🙂

My heart and soul, my reason for being

My heart and soul, my reason for being

My heart and soul, my reason for being

~~
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~~

Podcast/Audio on Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain


Fibro_definition

I stopped my last blog 5 months ago and started ShaunNews because I was talking about pain far too much. People in my Family and Friends didn’t want to know, so I stopped and to be fair it helped. Only very often will I rant here or Facebook or wherever. I think it’s vital we live and very important we don’t deny our pain. Fight and live.

Podcast/Audio on Fibromyalgia

download (1)

Scotland, I speak to you all, in any walk of life on why we must vote yes


TheTurningPoint_zps7c89ed80

We go to the polls

A month from now we all head to the polls with our reasons of ‘why’ we want to remain in this lopsided Union or we want to free ourselves from Westminster rule. My opinion is, if you are voting in a selfish way for today, you are doing the wrong thing. I ask anyone voting no for their selfish reasons to rethink hard. I vote for now, but I also vote for my children and their children, a Scotland 100 years from now and beyond

War Britain

I ask you Scotland, do you put your name to Westminster selling bombs to Israel that kill children?  I say not in my name. As I sit here on this peaceful Sunday morning my mind rolls back to ancient times and what our ancestor, our kin had to go through, the murder, rape and torture our history shows we as a people had to go through. I ask if you want to put your name to these bombs doing this here below. We are the only country to vote to rid our soil of Nuclear weapons, we will save 100’s of Millions of pounds without trident on our shores, Britain is a War country, let us free Scotland from that banner because our name goes on these bombs that kill these kids, like the one below.

Not in my name, how about you?

Not in my name, how about you?

Undecided

I talk directly to you who may be undecided, 50/50 or leaning a certain way. I ask you to look deep into your soul, close your eyes and really question the reasoning behind a no vote. With most of England protesting to rid their land of Austerity, Scottish people, selfish people, people who maybe have money, are voting NO  to keep Austerity. Austerity is you and I paying for the crimes of the rich. If you don’t believe me just look back to 2008 and the banking crisis where the Government bailed out the banks and banks still threw people in the street, how can you defend this?

The Young

I speak to my two sons who are 22 and 20 and all you young people, I know you are smart enough to understand this vote, I know you understand what we vote for, but I simply ask you, vote with your future in mind. Things in life me be good now but as the question, can you depend on Westminster to help you through life? The answer of course is no.

To the Rich

I speak to a people who don’t see food banks opening all over the country and don’t see it or care, I speak to people who are comfortable in life and don’t want to change. I simply ask, what if you lose your job, your house, can you depend on Westminster to support you? The hard answer is no. I ask you please to put your feet in the shoes of others less fortunate, open your heart and mind to a different life

The Disabled

Many disabled people depend totally on the state to help them. People did not ask to be disabled, I didn’t. I know there are many Scottish people using and abusing the welfare system, a welfare system so broke it can’t check who is cheating and who isn’t. In a free Scotland we can point a finger to these people who abuse a system where money is there to help people who can’t live like a normal person. I have seen  ATOS stop welfare and seen people commit suicide due to ATOS. Have you seen these stories? if not, please go research. On appeal many got their money back, sadly we lost many to ATOS and the Government, the very same Government to give themselves a 33% wage rise in Westminster don’t care. They don’t care! https://welfaretales.wordpress.com/category/death-after-fit-to-work-decision/ < That link there is people who have committed suicide due to losing benefits. R.I.P to them all. I ask you do your own research Scotland

The People of Scotland

I ask simply to have hope over fear. To be brave in the face of untrue pressures from the no camp. I ask you to cast aside fear and vote yes to free you and your kin from a Government we know is corrupt and tells lies. I ask you to believe in your own people. Many I have said this to or spoken to about a free Scotland Government say “Ahh but our Government may be corrupt” I think we are speaking ill of our own people when we should not. I believe we Scots are better than that. Many STILL think 2014, September 18th is a vote for Alex Salmond, it is not, it is a simple yes or no. In a free Scotland we vote for Parties and manifestos in 2016

We must be brave Scotland, blood has spilled throughout our history to try and free us and here we are a month away from a chance to free ourselves and the only thing standing between Scotland and a prosperous future alone, IS A PEN! The pen you will use to tick the Yes box. I urge you to look round RIGHT NOW and look at your partner, I ask you to look now at your kids, I ask you now to think of Scotland. I plead with you to vote yes. We CAN go it alone, there is no need for Plan-A or Plan-B, all that will be sorted out in the 18 months between freedom and the vote to see who leads Scotland forward. I ask people who dislike Alex Salmond to understand Nicola Sturgeon may go for power one day. The point I am making is, we all die, Scotland never dies. At the front door to Edinburgh Castle we see William Wallace and Robert the Bruce. Sometimes I stand and look at them here in Edinburgh and I can close my eyes and see the bloodshed against an army out to kill us.

Please be brave, be bold, be free, free yourself, free your family, free me, free us all. Scotland I think we can do this, but we need people to vote, we can’t have people thinking “Safe vote I need not” We must get up, rise up and say with the stroke of a pen, NO MORE CUTS TO SCOTTISH SECTORS

We can do this Scotland, so let’s go do this, smile and vote yes. We become rich, we can look after our own. We must cast aside fear of the unknown, UKIP are strong and unknown, I finish by asking, what would you rather gamble on? More Thatcherism and UKIP or a prosperous Scotland

DON’T BE THE DUMBEST NATION ON EARTH AND VOTE NO, BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WE WILL BECOME 

Kindest Regards

Shaun

Saorsa don Alba