Taboo: Pain, Love, Cowards, Hate and the Festive Period

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By @ShaunyGibson – Used to be @ ShaunyNews

When an artist has a stage to speak to thousands of people they often use it well, I am lucky enough to have such a stage to share my art. Writing is an art and so is music, so read on. I am sitting at 3am here after 5 days of early bed and up early to being up all night on my own. Fibro is killing me. My skin is burning, my ankles and hips feel broken, my back feels snapped, back of my neck and shoulders are gone I can’t turn my head. I can’t type a lot, need to stop typing. Volterol Gel and I have a relationship but I don’t think I will meet its parents over Christmas.

Funny I say that there are a few families I didn’t and won’t see over Christmas. Does it hurt? Not at all, I am used to it. I changed when Fibro changed me. The images I have added to this article were not done by me, I don’t know who to give credit to but they are telling the story I try and tell, same as the song below

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Why?

I live an existence of loneliness. I have no need to feel lonely but Fibro makes my rules also the rules of anyone with Fibro. At this time of the year the last thing people with a Chronic Illness need is stress. See stress makes me angry and makes me sore. See the Shaun everyone knew when I was 25/30 years old is gone and put in his place is a man lost in a World where getting lost is real hard, I say that because often I want to vanish for a time, maybe be a fly on a wall somewhere. I smell rats very easy, I guess when we lose one sense we are given another, just something I have noticed on my travels as I get older

Often I think about just getting in my car and seeing what else life has to offer me, but I know I will come right back here to the people I love. I have not tried this ‘yet’ but I would be wasting my time right? If you read this and have Chronic pain life Fibro you will understand every word. Every word, sentence and paragraph will make sense. I am due medication so I am typing with free will. The thought of a new World scares me, the thought of dating scares me more. I have never lost in love nor asked a woman out as an adult, but something keeps asking me if I should try, anyway………..

Sadly the people we need to understand make our lives worse. They don’t mean it, in-fact they are blissfully unaware of what they do to us. I don’t hold a candle to anyone and judge it’s not my way. But are there days I feel like I want to escape this pain? Sadly yes, in a bad way, but I can’t do that, the pain would allow it in a heartbeat however so I ignore the pain. I know many who are like me, in agony, alone, sad, depressed, I am just agony with the odd visit from Sad, Alone and Depressed and have no other choices, the choice I have ends my pain and brings pain to others. We don’t get choice we get what is on offer every day. My reality on paper is good but in reality it annoys me. The dysfunctional nature of what I call family has been a constant but I am not alone, I don’t think we all need a Disability to feel the way I do. Lately I have become distant with a woman I thought I would never be distant with. She says things that hurt me, she speaks to others, surely knowing I get to hear about it and I do. When people are unhappy they tend to look past the love in front of them and seek it elsewhere, I do understand this, although I don’t agree with the principle. I believe talking cures all, be it good or bad, when we talk things happen, when we don’t talk bad things happen. So I hope talking starts soon, I am nobody’s fool, not even the one woman in my life I would be a fool for, I won’t be a convenient bank for nobody apart from my kids

Eminem Sing for the Moment – Lyrics
Via hahaudied7 on You Tube

 

At this time of the year I see images of my family having fun and it kills me, it’s a knife through the heart. I get angry with Fibro but I only get angry with myself and that is pointless. So do we give up? HELL NO. The last thing I would do is give the people who would like to see me fall, actually fall, I fight against the people who wish to see me down and beat up. There are not many, certain people should know better. The silence and cowardly acts say it all for me. People saying things to my friends who do tell me. Cowards who would fill their underwear should I stand before them. People who believe you can sit in safety behind a keyboard, annoy people like, say? Me and my friends, maybe family. That Cowards day is coming unless they understand the rule of life in Scotland

LET IT GO

LET IT GO

I have family and friends, some of my friends are hardened lads who keep me going forward, kick my back side when it needs kicked and I thank them for it, without it I would spiral into deep depression and this wouldn’t be a blog, it would be the last letter I ever write. I refuse to give these sad people the smile on their faces they so need from me. I will beat you, I will outlast you and I may even be behind you one day when you turn around, I truly hope you are understanding my language here because I hate trouble, I am too old and sore to care, but I won’t be a fool for anyone, yeah, I made this clear I hope

My reason for fighting on. Want to challenge me and them 2? Come, bring it, don't be no coward

My reason for fighting on. Want to challenge me and them 2? Come, bring it, don’t be no coward

Anyone to even tries to put a wedge between me and my girls will lose badly. I hope the right person reads this. I know this is a News Page on Ace News but this is news, it’s my news, it’s news I share with hundreds more, many are going through family and friend issues, so I share mine so people know they ain’t alone, people think I share too much, truly I have not. Fibro and it’s medication is a reality that makes you question so we must be sure before we get angry that we are onto the right reality. The old Shaun who did the bad stuff 19 years ago is always on my shoulder telling me if I return to my old ways the pain will leave me, after all the pain arrived the day I promised to behave, truly it did, it tempts me like the drugs I take to help my pain, it taunts me like a person hating you. I refuse to go back, but rest assured, should I go back I won’t be back here. I don’t think I can do this however, them two Princess’s above make me go on. I can’t let them down, I can’t give in to hatred of people who laugh at my ill’s. But then again I do have a phone. I write this to stop me doing the stupid thing here. So it’s off my shoulders and I smile and move forward. The old Shaun must remain silent, he can’t be allowed to run me….

…I can’t do that

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#art-of-writing, #christmas, #family, #festive-period, #fibromalagia, #friends, #haters, #hatred, #kids, #love, #loved-ones, #music, #new-year, #people-who-hate, #writing

Ebola outbreak still claiming lives – Leaving behind ‘Ebola Children’

The toll of a tragedy

The toll of a tragedy

By @ShaunyGibson – Used to be @ ShaunyNews

As the first World gets ready to shop till we drop and have Christmas with family and friends and sit in comfy chairs watching a movie on whatever TV platforms we have we must look to Ebola still. The main stream media don’t report this now because it doesn’t effect outside West Africa, kinda sad when you think about it. The ‘Ebola Children’ have nothing, nowhere to go and are risk of Ebola still. Ebola is still live, CDC and W.H.O are both asking for caution and for people not to relax, it could still hit…

The Children of Ebola:

THE first reported case in the Ebola outbreak ravaging west Africa dates back to December 2013, in Guéckédou, a forested area of Guinea near the border with Liberia and Sierra Leone. Travellers took it across the border: by late March, Liberia had reported eight suspected cases and Sierra Leone six. By the end of June 759 people had been infected and 467 people had died from the disease, making this the worst ever Ebola outbreak. The numbers keep climbing. As of November 30th, 17,145 cases and 6,070 deaths had been reported worldwide, the vast majority of them in these same three countries. Many suspect these estimates are badly undercooked.

Danger is still there...or is it?

Danger is still there…or is it?

The outbreak continues to claim lives, but there are glimmers of good news. The number of new cases reported each week in Guinea and Liberia has somewhat stabilised (in Liberia, the flattening out has come after a decline in new cases between mid-September and mid-October). The pattern in Sierra Leone is much less encouraging. The chart above shows numbers from both the World Health Organisation’s regular situation reports and from patient databases, which tend to be more accurate but are less complete for recent weeks

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The rate at which cases give rise to subsequent cases, which epidemiologists call R0, is the key variable in the spread of Ebola. For easily transmitted diseases R0 can be high; for measles it is 18. Ebola is much harder to catch: estimates of R0 in different parts of the outbreak range from 1.5 to 2.2. Although there are some signs that the virus is gradually being brought under control in Guinea and Liberia, any R0 above 1 is bad news. The very high mortality rate of the disease, estimated at 60-70% in this outbreak, means that Ebola can quickly claim more lives than other, more established killers.

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The inadequacies of the health-care systems in the three most-affected countries help to explain how the Ebola outbreak got this far. Spain spends over $3,000 per person at purchasing-power parity on health care; for Sierra Leone, the figure is just under $300. The United States has 245 doctors per 100,000 people; Guinea has ten. The particular vulnerability of health-care workers to Ebola is therefore doubly tragic: as of November 30th there had been 622 cases among medical staff in the three west African countries, and 346 deaths.

http://www.farrahgray.com/forgotten-victims-ebola-desperate-plight-children-orphaned-virus/5/

http://whatreallyhappened.com/de/content/forgotten-victims-ebola-desperate-plight-children-who-have-been-orphaned-virus

https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/502925483362595001/

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#cdc-centers-for-disease-control-and-prevention, #ebola, #ebola-children, #ebola-live, #ebola-outbreak, #ghana, #guinea, #kids, #liberia, #mali, #nigeria, #sierra-leone, #w-h-o-world-health-organisation, #west-africa

SNP – Disabled children going hungry due to welfare cuts

03_21-ipad_carousel-retouched_0By @ShaunyGibson – Used to be @ ShaunyNews – A new report showing that almost a third of families with disabled children are forced to go without food highlights the ‘shocking’ impact of Westminster’s welfare cuts, the SNP is saying today – and comes on the day that the SCVO have demanded the transfer of welfare powers to Scotland.

The report by Contact a Family surveyed more than 320 families with disabled children in Scotland – finding that 29 per cent had been unable to buy food and that 34 per cent had been unable to heat their home.

The survey also showed that around a third of families are going without specialist equipment for their children – and 9 per cent had been unable to attend medical appointments due to increases in transport costs.

The report comes as the SCVO demanded that the Westminster parties agree to the full devolution of welfare powers to the Scottish Parliament to allow action to address poverty and protect the most vulnerable people in society – as supported by the vast majority of people in Scotland.

Earlier this week research from the Scottish Parliament Information Centre (SPICe) showed that disabled adults are also losing out at the hands of Westminster – as average payments for disabled people through the Access to Work scheme are around £700 less than the UK average.

Commenting, SNP MSP Kevin Stewart said:

“This is an absolutely shocking report which confirms the appalling effect Westminster’s welfare cuts agenda is having on vulnerable people and their families across Scotland.

“That almost a third of families with disabled children in a wealthy country like Scotland are going hungry as a result of Westminster’s cuts is nothing less than a scandal. And with even more cuts coming down the line from George Osborne the situation is only going to get worse.

“Westminster has shown time and time again that it can’t be trusted on welfare. It is now abundantly clear that full powers over welfare should be in Scotland’s hands – rather than in the hands of a Westminster establishment engaged in a systematic assault on the poorest people in society.

“Charities, third sector organisations and the majority of people in Scotland are united in demanding that these powers are delivered to Scotland – and with Westminster’s track record it is not difficult to see why.

“With the ‘extensive’ new powers over welfare and the economy promised to us we can take action to make Scotland a fairer place for everyone who lives here – and can ensure that disabled children and their families are treated with the respect they deserve.”

Source: http://www.snp.org/media-centre/news/2014/nov/disabled-children-going-hungry-due-welfare-cuts

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#change, #families-with-disabled-children, #food-banks, #hungry, #kids, #people, #scvo, #snp, #snp-msp-kevin-stewart, #welfare-cuts, #westminster

My Daughter Starts School Tomorrow. An Honor in Bringing Kids up

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12345My little princess’s growing up and Daddy isn’t liking it. In a Country where showing or speaking of these feelings, being a man, can be tricky as people mock you 😀 I am different, I pride myself on not being “Normal” I decided a LONG time ago I was going to live my life the way I wanted and not how Society says we must. I was a Dad very young to two amazing young men (20/22 now they are), I was 17 then 19 a kid myself! My partner and I decided 7 years ago now to try for a kid. We went through some hurtful moments, but we got there. I watched as my Partner started to show signs a small person was inside her. I would lay and talk to her tummy and I think when the girls were born they knew my voice. The amazing (Probably not for a woman at times) time of being there to see your kid born is such an amazing thing. A little person appears, a little girl, Courtney we called her, and she changed our lives for the better. 18 Months later her little sister was Born, Chloe. Deep down I wanted a little girl, when my oldest Daughter was born it was utter joy, tears, hard tears of love and joy

Now 7 years on my oldest Daughter starts School tomorrow. We have got all her clothing and Schoolbag, lunchbox, pencil case, you name it, it’s there. Both my Partner and my own parents have been amazing in helping buy things. A team effort it was, lol. Tomorrow I don’t think I will cry, I will be proud though. Chloe starts 2nd year Nursery/Pre-School, Courtney goes to REAL School. Before Courtney went to bed we had a little chat on our own, a proper chat with this little bundle of emotions and love. She asked me “Daddy, is School fun” I said “Honey, school is amazing” She gave me a hug, a kiss “I love you lots Daddy” then went to back to bed. My heart broke. Not for bad reasons, but for a mixture of reasons. To have the privilege of having two baby girls and watch them grow up to be Sisters, friends, enemies, all love has been so far indescribable, I honestly can’t find a Word, it’s a feeling stronger than love and I don’t think there is a word for this feeling.

The pleasure and joy of watching two babies grow to throw pieces of Jigsaw at each other, cuddle and make up, play together, watch TV together, sit at a PC or Laptop together, watch silhouette-family-with-eclipse (1)them having fun out the back garden, has been a trip, a good one. Daddy want’s time to slow down. But we can’t be selfish, we must let go. With my two Sons, they are both at home “Just” There is talk of them moving out, and I am thinking “Spare room for an office, YES!” I am of course half joking. They are two gentlemen, We taught them life the best we could and still do, you never stop being a parent, my Mum told me that once. They are soon to fly the nest, I will cry but I know they are ready to take on the World.  The moments I had with my sons when they were little boys then teenagers was brilliant, all we did was Football. When I was manager, they were there supporting, when one was playing we were all, my Partner included, there to watch.

Now it’s time to do it all over again, teach 2 little bags of emotion and love how the World works. As parents do we give advice when we know they need it. There is no book on parenting and if someone wrote it, it would be useless. You parent with love but also instinct, you do it with unconditional love, to see that love given back, or to feel that love given back 4 times makes it all worthwhile.

So tomorrow another chapter of our lives takes another direction. We are ready for it, we will enjoy it and hold every moment as long as we can. Life is so fragile, we sadly have seen it the last few days with the death of Robin Williams and all the death and murder add genocide, we understand we MUST live in moments. We let yesterday go but never forget and we plant seeds for tomorrow, and in THIS moment we are smiling and happy, then life is amazing. I suffer badly with pain every day but all I have written has helped. A disability can easily destroy a relationship and the dynamics of a house. I have known my Partner since I was 12, we were best friends then we are best friends now. I hate sometimes when the pain is so hard to take I vent, but everyone in my home understands it’s not at them, I never do in-front of the girls, I just can’t, wouldn’t, would be unable to, even if I needed to. My oldest Courtney has picked up Daddy is 100% healthy and hurts, I tell her “Daddy has a sore knee from playing football” She is noticing things. For now, that is the story, she and her sister Chloe will know when the time is right, But in the meantime I will pray the Fibro will leave my body. I want to be as healthy looking as I can when I am out with them and take them to the school grounds, so I demand it of myself to take the pain, nothing is impossible if our heart truly desires it be

TO ANY PARENT, DO YOU FEEL AS I DO, OR AM I ALONE? I WOULD LOVE PEOPLE TO TELL ME x

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#babies-to-kids, #caring-sharing, #daddy, #fun, #good-times, #happy, #honor-of-bringing-up-kids, #kids, #kids-to-teenagers, #letting-go, #life, #love, #love-of-our-partners, #memories, #nursery, #parenting, #pre-school, #school, #teenagers-to-young-adults